Lust

[Admin Sydnee]

AJ was trying her best to become wrapped up in a book she'd checked out from the library a few days ago. Still, she couldn't stop thinking about the ball, about how everybody out there was having fun and going on dates. They were slow dancing and holding hands and everything that AJ couldn't do. It was as if events like this were designed to disclude her. Or perhaps she was designed to be discluded. She wasn't sure which.

She'd bought a dress. It wasn't anything incredibly expensive, but for some reason, having the dress made her feel a bit better, made her feel as if she was somehow involved in the ball, even though she wasn't going. That would only spell disaster. She'd found a navy blue vintage dress at a store in Cranbrook with a floral pattern that went down to her knees. There was a ribbon around the waist and the bottom was slightly ruffled. She'd even put on a pair of tights, but left her naturally wavy hair alone. She'd looked at herself in the mirror only briefly before she got to upset. She looked presentable. She looked...dare she say, pretty. A small smile formed on her lips before she turned away and had curled up with her book on her bed.

About an hour had passed since then and she found that her thoughts kept lingering on her power instead of the compelling tale of Jane Eyre. She was so angry at it, for it not letting her live a normal life.

Sure, she had Gabe as a friend and she'd went out for hot chocolate and donuts with Ashton, but she was so concerned with being careful that she was closed off. Ashton made her nervous although it wasn't his fault and Gabe was off at the snow ball with Mikayla, her roommate, who she was happy for but also slightly jealous of. It bothered her that she felt envy. She didn't want to. She just wanted to be able to be a teenager, to have a dance with a boy.

She sighed, finding that the words on the page had started to blur before a few stray tears fell onto the page.

[Admin Courtney]

Ashton had been about to go to the ball. He was dressed in black trousers and a white collared shirt, opting to go without a jacket because he would just end up taking it off at the ball later and did not want to carry it around. He did wear a bow-tie to be more formal, however. But dressed up as he was, knowing AJ was not going made him sad. The night was supposed to be fun for everyone, and she was skipping out? That was just not right. And so when everyone else was leaving, he made his way over to the girl's dorms. He saw one girl he recognised from his grade, and asked her if AJ was in her dorm.

"AJ? Yes, I think she is staying in tonight to read," the blind girl Mikayla told him, using her hand to guide her along the wall. She looked preoccupied, and Ashton guessed she was looking forward to the ball. He let her pass by after thanking her and made his way to the girl's 11th grade dorm.
He knocked three times and waited, not daring to just open the door and enter. He was pretty sure no one else was in there, but still. He did not want a shoe thrown at him or anything.

[Admin Sydnee]

AJ closed her book, not wanting any more tears to fall onto the pages and tossed it aside on her bed. Who was she kidding? She couldn't just ignore the fact that she was isolated from having a normal life and just read a book in a dress she couldn't wear to the ball. Mikayla must have thought it odd that she even had put on the dress if she wasn't going to go.

Suddenly, she heard a knock at the door. Had Mikayla forgotten something? Was it someone looking for another girl in her dorm? She stood up and padded over to the door, quickly wiping away tears from her cheeks. "Who are you looking f-" she began to say, but she stopped when she saw Ashton in her doorway. He was all dressed up and looking quite handsome. She hadn't seen him since their coffee date and she'd been too afraid to see him again. "Uhm, Hi...Ashton." She managed a small smile, her hand still on the doorknob. What was he doing here?

[Admin Courtney]

"Hey!" Ashton greeted her brightly, a broad grin spread across his face. His grin faded slightly into a look of disappointment when he saw her. "I was hoping you had changed your mind about attending the ball, but I guess I was wrong." His faded grin became a worried frown when he noticed the puffiness around her eyes.
"Have you been crying?" he asked softly, his forehead crinkling with worry. "Come on. You should get dressed; I'm sure you have something in your room to wear to the ball. You can be my date," he added boldly, then walked forward purposefully so she wouldn't turn him away. He was not trying to be imposing or arrogant; he only wanted her to have a good time at the ball, and wanted to make sure she would not just shut and lock the door to shut him out.

[Admin Sydnee]

"Hey," AJ managed. He was grinning, but it faded when he'd looked at her. "I'm not going....I told you." And now he looked worried and she knew he'd noticed that she'd been crying. She mentally cursed at herself and took a step back as he walked into her dorm room. "I'm fine. I just can't handle Jane Eyre. The book is sad, okay?" It was a lame excuse.

Be his date? To the ball? Oh man, he was being way too sweet and AJ knew she was coming off as a bitch. She was just trying to keep everything normal, keep everyone safe...from her, from doing something they wouldn't remember and most likely didn't want to do. And Ashton was a different story. She had to keep him safe from what he'd already done. "Thanks Ash, really," she told him genuinely. "But this is the only dress I own and it's no where near fancy enough for a ball." She gestured to the floral patterned dress she was wearing. "Besides, it's not really my thing." Oh, but she wanted to go. She wanted to go even if it wasn't with Ashton, mostly because she couldn't stop thinking about what had happened years ago when she was with him. On the other hand, he'd done nothing wrong, but she felt like she was constantly lying to him.

[Admin Courtney]

"Jane Air?" Ashton repeated with a confused frown. "I don't know that book. Why read it if it makes you cry?" he wondered. He was not much of a reader, but when he did read, he stayed away from anything he heard was depressing or could make someone cry. The humour section at the library was his favourite; he loved to laugh. Sometimes he still read kid's books, because their humor still got a chuckle out of him.

"So borrow a dress from one of your roommates," he suggested with a shrug. "By the time they realise, it won't matter because we'll all have had fun at the ball. You have to at least try it out. One dance, that's all I ask," he said. "If you hate it, you can come back up here. Deal?" he asked, and reached for her hand before she had too much time to think about it.

[Admin Sydnee]

AJ shrugged. Why did she read such emotional books? She didn't know, but she was glad that Ashton had dropped the subject and accepted her reason. There was so much he deserved to know, so much she wanted to tell him. Because she so badly wanted to let him in, but secrets were in the way.

He was being so sweet, making a deal with her that if she didn't like it she could come right back up here. AJ would have normally agreed to that, if she wasn't stuck with her power, but he'd come all the way over to her dorm to try and get her to go, to even offer to be her date. It was different for her, someone noticing her even though she tried so hard to blend in, to make it so that people would not want to talk to her again, yet Ashton kept sticking around. She still couldn't believe that he'd ended up having powers, that he was here. "Ashton...that's really nice of you..." she trailed off.

And in that moment, AJ let her guard down. It was just for a second, as she thought over everything, as she let herself feel like someone cared. She was so wrapped up in her thoughts, that she hadn't been keeping her distance from Ashton, nor had she been paying attention.

She hadn't seen his hand reach for hers. She didn't notice until his hand touched hers. The feeling was unfamiliar at first. She hadn't remembered what it was like to touch someone and then things started to spiral out of control. She felt like something was pulling him towards her and she knew it was her. No, she thought. She tried to pull away from him, tried to peel him away from her as he forcefully closed the distance between them.

Memories flooded back. This had happened before. He was in the trance. "Ash," she said, her voice raising. She was trying to shove him away. How did she let this happen?

[Admin Courtney]

The whole world flipped on him the moment he touched AJ's hand, and he knew instantly that he was in love with her. He had to have her, and he was not going to take no for an answer. His eyes bored into hers and he reached for her other hand, all the while leaning in to kiss her inviting lips. Nothing else mattered to him but her. Forget the ball, forget everything!

She was speaking to him, saying his name, and he grinned. Of course she was saying his name. She too must want him. But even if she didn't, she was just fooling herself. He would have her. He had to have her. With his free hand, he touched her face, caressing her cheek before bringing his lips to hers and kissing her forcefully. Then he brought his other hand to other cheek, holding her face in his hands as his lips explored hers until he had to break for breath. When he did, he gasped and said, "You're more delicious than I would have imagined, AJ. I want you so badly." And then leaned in for another kiss.

[Admin Sydnee]

It was horrible. It was always horrible. It was never real. The charm she had, the lust she made people feel wasn't real. It turned them into people they weren't, it made them do and say things they wouldn't normally. She'd already seen Ashton like this once before and then she'd been unable to fight him off, but AJ had also learned how to handle herself when this did happen. She was just temporarily floored that she'd let it happen and lost herself for a moment when his lips were hungrily on hers, his hands on her face rather than her hands now.

She felt herself shudder at the memories this produced. It was happening all over again. He pulled away from her face, but he was still touching her and saying things that made AJ want to run. She felt so powerless, as she always did in this situation, but reminded herself that she had to be strong, that she had to try and fight him off. "Ashton, stop." Her voice was stern as she turned her face away from his when he leaned in once more. She was trying to pull away. She still had a chance while his hand was on her face. That was easier to slip away from then if he had his arms around her. While under the lustful control, they tended to be very forceful, but she couldn't push him, because that would just make it harder to pull away, so instead she just tried moving, backing away.

[Admin Courtney]

When she turned her head away, his lips met her cheek instead, but that was okay with him. Her game of hard to get was cute. He kissed along her jaw, his hands sliding down to her neck. Then she began to step away, and he followed. But it seemed in their hurry to get ready for the Ball, her roommates had left things scattered on the bedroom floor.

The toe of his shoe caught on a handbag and Ashton's eyes closed in anticipation as he fell forward. His hands fell from AJ and instead broke his fall so he did not do a faceplant. He rolled over, groaning with pain as the heel of a shoe dug into his back.
"Crap," he muttered, himself once again. He opened his eyes and stared up at the ceiling, his forehead slowly crinkling into an expression of confusion.
"What the heck?" he asked aloud, pushing himself up onto his elbows and looking around. How had he gotten on the floor? Obviously he had fallen, but he had been about to take AJ's hand. Had she flipped him or pushed him or something? He shook his head, his mind foggy, and then he met AJ's eyes.

[Admin Sydnee]

AJ didn't know what she was hoping for. She didn't want to have to resort to trying to literally push him, but she might have to. She was still backing up as he kissed her jawline, hands roaming down her neck. She could feel that pull between them. It was as if it was magnetic. She pressed her hands up against him ready to shove with all of her might when luckily for her, his foot got caught on one of the many things her roommates had littered the floor with. The strap of a handbag. He went down, his hands falling from her as he collapsed to the floor.

He was rolling over and groaning and as if on instinct, AJ had moved further away from him, nearly backing into the wall. Her heart was pounding in her chest and she felt like the room was spinning. She squeezed her eyes shut. It was over. It was, but her mind was still on what had happened a year ago and what had nearly happened again. He didn't mean it, but her power made him a monster, made him lust for her in a way that made it so he wouldn't take no for an answer. No sooner than she opened her eyes, tears rolled down her cheeks and she looked at a confused Ashton on the floor through her blurred vision who had met her eyes.

How was she supposed to explain this? "A-Are you alright?" she stammered.

[Admin Courtney]

He sat up and pressed his lips together, then frowned. They tasted almost sweet. The confusion on his face deepened. That made no sense. He stood slowly, his back throbbing where the shoe had dug into it. And then he noticed AJ's tears.

"AJ," he said, walking slowly over to her. How had she gotten so far away? And why was she crying again? She looked scared.
Ashton stopped walking and rubbed his forehead. Why couldn't he remember how he had fallen on the ground?
"I'm fine. Just confused. The question is are you okay, AJ, and what just happened? I can't... seem to remember." Did he hit his head hard? It didn't hurt...

[Admin Sydnee]

When he got up, AJ would have backed up further, but she was already practically against the wall. He was walking towards her, saying her name.

You're more delicious than I would have imagined, AJ. She shook her head, trying to forget it. That wasn't Ashton, that is what her power made him. She turned away from him, the tears still falling down her face. Of course he was confused. He wouldn't remember. Normally she would just flee, but this was her dorm room and he was sure to go after her anyway.

"You can't remember....because..." she choked on her words. "Because it's my power." She stayed, shrunken against the wall. "Just...don't....don't..." Come near me, she finished in her mind.

[Admin Courtney]

She almost seemed scared of him, but that made no sense at all. Ashton stayed where he was, the confused expression never wavering.
She began talking, explaining in few words and little detail what had happened, but all she succeeded in doing was confusing Ashton even further.

"Your power?" he repeated. "What, to run fast? AJ, that doesn't make any sense. It doesn't explain how I ended up on the ground and why I can't remember --" His eyes widened with realization. This was not the first time he had forgotten things around AJ. When they had worked on a project together back in the ninth grade, there was a time he had forgotten. This felt the same way.

"AJ," he said carefully. "What's your real power?"

[Admin Sydnee]

AJ suddenly felt horrible for lying to him. She should have told him her real power at the beginning, but the memories were still getting to her. She didn't know how to combat them, how to face Ashton and tell him what had happened. She averted her gaze, looking down at her tights. He'd stopped talking mid-sentence. He realized something was up, but he didn't know what. That's how her power worked. The affected person would never remember, but they would know that there was something they couldn't remember.

"Ash..." she trailed off, not sure how to approach his question. She couldn't even look him in the eye. She swallowed the lump in her throat and tried not to cry any longer. "Look, I...I can't deal with this right now. I don't....I didn't choose to have this power and it keeps messing everything up for me." She couldn't stop crying.